We all know change is a guaranteed thing in life. Like it not, it still arrives. Some change is great, like those fridges with cold water and ice … and other changes are just not what we’d like to have happened to us, or to see happen to others.
When we think back to how much time has changed over our lifetime, we can see how different things are for our teenagers. Today’s teens are dealing with so much more than we ever dealt with as teenagers. The most significant change, of course, is social media. The far-reaching impacts this highly addictive and easily accessible tool is having on teenage brains are still unknown and are unlikely to be understood for manyf years to come.
In the meantime, we’re left parenting our teenagers based mainly on how we remember being parented ourselves. Our parents were our first teachers, and it’s to their wisdom we return when we quickly need to reach into our parenting toolboxes and pull out a tool.
Some of those tools still work.
The negotiation tool is a classic – This is the sentence I hear myself saying when I’m in negotiation mode: “When ….., then ….”
A recent example: “When you’ve emptied the dishwasher, then we’ll talk about getting in the car and going for a driving lesson.”
You, as the parent, put the responsibility for completing a reasonable expectation onto the teenager. When you hold your line firmly, it works. Provided, of course, you pick an appropriate battle. What happens when you say to your teenager “When you’re ready to apologise for your rude behaviour, then we’ll talk.”? I can hear you smirking from here …!
You may be wondering how this applies to group coaching.
As my little demonstration showed, you can immediately see the flaws in other people’s ways. It’s almost as if by sharing an example, you’re holding up a mirror so the other person can see themselves clearly reflected.
A coach used to be something you travelled in to get you from destination A to destination B. It used to be an actual thing.
Coaching now is more metaphorical. Yes, it does get you from destination A to destination B, but now the vehicle is you, and the coach is simply the driver.
The coach keeps you on the road. They may even recommend an alternative route
A coach can get you to see when you are going around in circles, or to avoid a pothole you somehow missed seeing
A coach can offer support and guidance on your journey.
With coaching, you get to decide the destination.
Sometimes it takes a while to figure out where you are, but then you can get started. Where are you going? That’s for you to know and to give the coach directions. The coach is responsible for keeping you on the road as you move towards your goals, and onwards to your destination.
Group coaching not only gives you the chance to learn some new and up to date skills, it also allows you to to practice these skills with other parents who are learning beside you.
It’s like being part of a team, everyone working towards a common goal while they all learn together. At the end of the programme, there’s not only the achievements and skills learnt, there’s also friendships and laughter to fall back on when the programme is finished and you’re facing a new challenge.
Not one of us knows all the answers to every question, together though we just might.
The Bit-by-Bit group coaching course is the perfect safe space to share your concerns about your teenagers while learning from other parents all in similar spots to you. Plus we learn useful parenting tools, which we then practice with each other so when the time comes to have those difficult conversations, we’re ready and prepared for them.
And now you also have the opportunity to ‘add on’ your teenager, meaning you’ll both be learning similar material. Putting yourself on the same page as your teenager? Priceless! Be the parent whose teenager says “Thanks. You were really there when I needed you.”